“She remained still, looking to the side, and heard herself say: This is a bad situation you’re in. Remain calm and don’t move.”
I hear stories like this often, from clients, friends, family, I’ve lived it too. In moments of acute danger, people describe an inner voice that cuts through the chaos. It doesn’t feel like overthinking or panic. It feels like a calm instruction, a guide.
That inner guide is not imagined. It’s your nervous system orienting, offering clarity when survival is at stake. Sometimes it says “Run.” Sometimes it says “Be still.” Either way, it’s presence and presence is protective.
But what happens after the moment? The event may end, but your body often doesn’t. Flashbacks, crying, shaking, spirals of “what if” can appear days, months, even years later. Let’s break down how the inner guide, the body’s release, and grounding practices weave together to support healing and growth.
Part 1: The Inner Guide — Presence in Acute Trauma
What it is: An automatic, protective awareness. It’s the opposite of dissociation, it’s more present, not less.
Why it matters: It proves that even in chaos, there is a part of you that knows what to do.
How to strengthen it: Practice micro-presence daily, short scripts, orienting exercises, interoception (body awareness). The more familiar presence feels, the quicker you can hear and trust it.
Part 2: Aftermath — Crying, Shaking, and the “What If” Spiral
Survivors often say, “I felt stupid for crying. I was safe, but I still shook.”
Some things to remember:
Crying releases stress chemicals.
Shaking/trembling is your nervous system discharging unfinished survival energy.
The “what if” spiral is the mind’s way of integrating, replaying scenarios to understand, prepare, and metabolize the memory.
These are not overreactions. They are completions. Animals do this naturally, humans tend to suppress it. When we honor these releases instead of shutting them down, we give the body permission to finish what it started.
Part 3: Grounding — Returning to “That Was Then, This Is Now”
Release alone is not enough; we also need to anchor back into the present.
Here are five reliable grounding practices for flashbacks:
5-4-3-2-1 Senses Reset — Name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
Temperature Shift — Use ice, cool water, or warmth to reset.
Anchor Phrase — Out loud: “I am safe. Today is [date]. I am in [place].”
Feet + Breath — Feel the floor, slow your exhale, longer than the inhale.
ex: inhale into the belly, then chest for the count of 5. Release and exhale chest then belly for 8 count. Repeat this for 4 rounds or more.
Eye Orientation — Scan the room, notice neutral, comforting or pleasant objects.
Think of release as the exhale, grounding as the inhale. One clears the body, the other roots it back in time. Together, they form the bridge between trauma and recovery.
Part 4: From Surviving to Post-Traumatic Growth
Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past, it means reclaiming your power in the present. Post-traumatic growth is the shift that happens when survival teaches you new strength, values, and perspective.
The inner guide whispers during the danger.
The body cries and shakes after, finishing what was frozen.
Grounding practices bring you home to now.
This cycle… presence, release, return… is the quiet architecture of resilience.
I’d love to hear about your experience: can you think back to a moment when an inner voice or instinct guided you? Write down the exact words you heard or the feeling you had. Then ask: If I trusted that wisdom again today, what might it say about the challenges I face now?
Hugs,
Cait 💗
