Anniversaries of any major life altering experience activates an emotional response, just think about happy memories, a sweet 16, prom, a proposal. Now when we remember life altering experiences that were not our choice, such as this pandemic, the emotions activated are much harder to process and cope with, especially those who don't have access to regular mental health care. Reflecting back on what "life was like BC (before Covid-19) is likely to bring up a lot of grief, frustration, anger and sadness in so many of us. People are exhausted and are experiencing hope-burnout. The good news is there is evidence that we can study and regain hope from. The weather change and longer sunlight days in the horizon are also mood-boosters.
There is an increase in depression, anxiety, substance addictions, and marital conflict spanning all age groups. Dependants already have very little control over their lives as it is, having prolonged, required social isolation doesn't allow for them to express and play freely in social environments nor does it allow for their parents to do the same. This level of prolonged health induced fear based stress impacts the energy and mood of the household.
I've also seen an increase of creativity come out of this past year. People are becoming ingenuitive with ways of interacting safely with one another. They're spending more time practicing old hobbies that reignite the feeling of joyful play and personal expression. People are choosing to work on issues that life, BC, enabled distraction and avoidance from. Marriages are dealing with underlying wounds that haven't been acknowledged. Healing is occurring through this traumatic year. People are revisiting their morals, their values, their priorities.
Coping:
1) Feel it out!
Give yourself time to grieve and process. I recommend that everyone take to a attractive, personalized handy-dandy notebook. Have fun picking one out or even decorating it. Your journal can represent a completely separate and safe space for the writer. Journaling about your daily successes, struggles, worries, etc. gives your mind a break from holding onto it all. When we release and honor ourselves by letting it out on a daily basis, we feel lighter and have a better chance of staying in the present moment.
2) Acknowledge the bad AND the good
Many of my clients feel a sense of guilt when they talk about the things they like about life now because there are so many others suffering beyond our biggest nightmares. But, it's okay to stay in your lane while processing your year long experience. Acknowledging the benefits and losses during life in Covid doesn't take away from another's legitimacy of their story. Please don’t compare and justify what's an appropriate feeling vs what's not based upon another person’s perspective of acceptability. Feelings show up uninvited all the time. It's what we do once we feel them that's crucial. Which leads me to my third recommendation: incorporate the facts.
3) FACT or FEAR
Once we allow ourselves to be both the expresser and the listener of our own story, it's important to incorporate what is known for sure. Bring in the facts, the data, and ground yourself in knowing that the rest of your story is unwritten. The incredible Michelle Obama invites us to ask ourselves, "Who are you becoming?" and that question gives us the power to choose how we honor our journey and use it to build the life of our greatest desires.
4) Do Your Best
As Don Miguel Ruiz states in the best selling book, The Four Agreements, always do your best and know your best changes from moment to moment. We have to be gentle with ourselves and with one another. Know what our limits are and be conscious of not pushing past those personal boundaries to avoid burnout and stress induced illness.
I believe that Covid has given our society an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves and one another on a much deeper level called compassion. In essence, compassion is when one suffers with another and chooses to take action towards helping in the relief process. We are all in this together, we always HAVE been all in this together, but we have been conditioned into believing that we are all separate and that separate success is what's most fulfilling. We are waking up, feeling the ripple effect of one another's behavior and choices on a global scale and we can CHOOSE what we want to change and take with us as we collectively heal one another.
